So we ask the adults if they are willing to acknowledge the pain and brokenness that they created. If the couple is able to gain the skills to listen and understand what the child is going through, over time, the kids will usually respond productively. Find something good about your stepkids.
Instead of focusing on the negative or complaining about them, find something positive to say to your spouse. That gets your husband or wife out of the middle, and puts you in a more positive frame of mind about the kids. So take the time to develop the relationship, making the string into a cord, the cord into a rope, and the rope into a chain.
The chain you end up with some day will be strong enough to take all the pushes and pulls of normal relationships.
And by the way, we are talking about years—not days, weeks, or months! Just remember that it takes a lot of time, perseverance, maturity, commitment and patience on the part of all the adults involved.
You must log in to leave a comment. Don't have an account? Create one for free! Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.
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Carri is a mom, step-mom and grandmother with 24 years of stepfamily experience. She and her husband Gordon are nationally-recognized experts on stepparenting and blending families successfully. Does your child exhibit angry outbursts , such as tantrums, lashing out, punching walls, and throwing things?
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